My World & Big Dreams : јануар 2013

Slowly begins to fall night. I go and buy a ticket on the train at the last moment. I came back from Croatia, I was visiting my aunt. I didn't booked a ticket, so I do not have my own compartment. I'm going from compartment to compartment to found the vacancy. After a while, I found one. I entered, I'm leaving my stuff. I sat, I took the phone. At that moment, at first glance, an unknown person entered the compartment.
'Sorry, you're here, it's my compartment'- he said,
'I'm sorry, I did not know, but there is no vacant place. Would you mind if I stay here with you? '- I asked politely.
He sat on his seat. I did not know what to do, so I village across from him.
'My name is Luna.' -I introduced myself after a while
'I'm Harry Styles. Nice to meet you. '
Harry Styles, that name sounded familiar to me for a moment. After that, there was silence. I was trying to remember where I got that name.I tried to remember for hours and hours, trying to think of something related to it. I gave that up, my head got sore. I took my phone out to see how many hours is it. On the screen it was his image, photo of Harry Styles. I looked at him, and then on the image on the phone. I was confused. After a few seconds I remembered that he belonged to a well-known band called One Direction. They broke up a few years ago. I was a big fan of them, but I never had the opportunity to see and hear them live. I'm speechless, a few minutes I just stared at him.
'Sorry, I have something on my face?' - He asked
I shook my head and replied: 'No, no. I imagined, I was not looking at you. '
Again he was silent. I noticed that he did not know to speak Serbian nice. Probably moved from London to Serbia or Croatia. I did not understand why he would leave London and came to this country. I was tired, so I fell asleep after a while.
'Wake up, wake up.' -Harry said shaking me
'Yes, yes, just five more minutes.' - I replied
"Not five, now. The train broke down, we had to get out.
''What?', I immediately got eyes wide open, 'What, what, where, please?'
'Yes, the train broke down, we had to get out.'
'But how will I get back home, we are in the middle of nowhere. I do not know how ... '
"I take you, you tell me where. '
'No, I can not ask you to do.'
"I had my car at the car came for me, you're with me in the car and home. '
'But, no, I can not ask you. I'll manage somehow, thank you. '
'Please.'-He said it so softly and looked at me with his green eyes.
I wanted to cry, I blushed and just nodded.
When we came out, the snow is still falling and it was night. People were confused, but they remained calm. I did not know what to do, I thought I would spend the night on the train in the morning.
I could not stay on the train, tomorrow I have a job interview. I waited for one of his men bring my stuff. I was freezing, I had nothing of winter clothes on. Snow has fallen suddenly. At one point, Harry came, he took my hand and slowly began to blow into them. My hands are slowly becoming hot, but other parts of the body could not stand the cold, and I started shaking. He took off his blue jacket with his name on it, and gave it to me. We entered a car that was waiting for us for a long time. The car was comfortable and warm inside. Slowly we left, I turned around and looked at other people who are slowly entering into another train.
'How?' - I said out loud
'What' how ' people went into the other train, you went with me because that's what I wanted.'
I did not want to oppose. In a way, and I wanted to go with him.
He sat next to me in the car, even though it was a special place for him. I got the impression that he likes me. 'How could he like me?', I thought. I was wearing a red dress of tulle and heels. I do not know how I managed not to fall with high heels as I walked through the snow. I had planned to when I get to Belgrade immediately go to a job interview, but it seems that I will not succeed. There was silence for a while,so I was the one who started the conversation.
'Thanks for the ride.' I said-
'You're welcome.'
I laughed.
'You laugh, why? You have a beautiful smile '- Saying that he blushed.
Suddenly he began to laugh, and I joined him. We laughed for no reason a while, until the car is braked suddenly. The driver turned around and told us that we can't get away because of the snow. We deleted fogged glass windows. Snow was falling to strong . We could not get out. We were left stunned. The driver called for help, but they told him that they can not do anything until morning. This meant that we had to sleep in the car.
Miraculously seats where we sat could be extended to be larger. So we did it. The car was getting colder, at least to me. The driver was already asleep in the front seat, and Harry and I talked about the cats in the back seat. We have not lain down to sleep, we're still talking. I still wore his blue jacket, and now he began to tremble. He took the blanket that we got from the driver. I asked him how we are going to sleep. I suggested that we sleep while sitting, but he laughed.
'No, we slept side by side. So we were warm. '- said a trembling voice.
I listened to him, and I was also cold.
I took off my heels and lay down. He took off his shoes and lay down next to me. He covered me with a blanket, still shivering from the cold. I got up, he looked at me strangely, and I took off his jacket. I lay down again, I covered us with a blanket and his jacket. It was a little warmer.
We did not fall asleep immediately. I thought about how lucky I am that I met my idol. I, the girl who is 25 years old, an ordinary girl who is shy is now in the same car with him. I thought I was dreaming. Several times I rubbed my eyes in order to make sure that after all this time I'm not dreaming.
'You tremble. '-he said
'Yes, I'm a little cold. I'm sorry. '
'I'm going to warm you up.' - he said.
I felt that it was said with great excitement. He gently hugged me, grabbed me by the arm and drew closer to him. I felt safe in his arms. Still, we were in the middle of nowhere buried in snow. We were warmer. We both kept quiet and enjoyed the moment.
'Turn around.' - he said
I turned around smiling as always. He moved the hair from my face and headed towards my lips.
'No, plea ...' -I said
'Ssss ...' - he said to me and put his finger to my lips to silence me.
He started gently kissing me, I did not want to resist, I felt comfortable with his touch and kisses.
Bang! I fell off the seat. We both began to laugh. He grabbed my hand and helped me up.
'Thank you.' -I said
He did not answer, but he kissed me again and smiled. Again we lay down, cuddled and fell asleep.
6:24 am
We woke up by the machine who has cleaning the snow from the road. I looked at the clock.
'Six and twenty? There's no way to get an interview. ' - I said panicking
'We take you.' - Harry said and grabbed my hand. He calmed me at the moment. We went to Belgrade.
9:30 am
We are in Belgrade, we still have time to get an interview. I asked Harry if he has the time to drive me to my apartment. He agreed.
For 10 minutes we were in my apartment. I told him to get comfortable, and take a drink while I showered. A few minutes later I walked into the room where Harry was. He was amazed.
'You're beautiful' - he said
'I gotta go, I'll be back in an hour. You stay here and beware of my cat.' I ran out of the apartment in my green dress that usually brings me luck. I had a bun that was falling apart as I ran.
"I forgot something." -I thought, and went back to the apartment.
When I entered, Harry was with my cat in the kitchen, they were eating.
'I forgot my purse'-I said, and ran out.
When I came to the door, Harry called me and said, 'You forgot one more thing.' , And pointed to his cheek. I went to kiss him, but he turned and our lips were gently together, again. I smiled and ran out of the apartment.On the way to a job interview, I was very happy and I was sure they would hire me. I needed a job. I had to bills and buy everything I need.
10:00 am
Conversation begins, and I'm not nervous at all.

10:45 am
The conversation ended, and I received at work. I'll be a tourist guide, for now I got two groups that need to run . I called Harry and told him all that .

11:00 am
I entered my apartment and saw Harry and Buci (it's mu cat) sleeping together on the sofa. in the living room. I just kissed them and cover them up.I went to my room, took off my shoes and lay on the bed, I fell asleep immediately.
                                                                                 *
I woke up after a while. Two of them are still asleep. I did not want to wake them, they were so cute together.
Harry loved cats, as I do. We found there.
He was tall, handsome, he had green eyes. He had a beautiful smile. His smile would always cheer you. His messy curls fit his angel face perfectly. He was always smiling.
I went to take a shower after a prepared lunch. I wore a baggy shirt that I received as a gift. My apartment was always warm. It was huge, he had a living room, bedroom, kitchen, bathroom, hall and terrace, which had a great view. In the dining room I set table, went to wake Harry, and invited him into the kitchen. He was delighted with what he saw on the table.Obviously he did not expect me to know how to cook.
He went to take a shower.
We sat at the table. We were talking and laughing. We also fed the cat under the table.
After lunch, we both sat in the living room and watched TV. Harry started kissing me and tickling me. I do not know how he knew I was ticklish. After much laughter and tears, he stopped. He hugged me and told me to get ready for tonight because it takes me out to dinner.
For dinner I wore a blue dress wich showed off my body figure that he bought me and my ankle boots wiht platforms. I also wore some jewlery that my mother gave me, made a messy brade (because that's what I needed to do), putted on some perfume and as a final touch, a coat wich I bought for myself for getting the job.
Harry wore jeans,a black jacket and a white shirt. He didn't have to do his hair,he just shook his head a little, made a few moves with his hands and it was ready. Final touch,a black coat and a scarf. He smelled like One Million,my favorite male perfume.

As we walked to the restaurant,he grabbed my hand insecuritly. I just looked at him,squeezed his hand and kissed him. He just smiled and returned the favor.

During dinner we talked, laughed, made fun of ourselfs, held hands, fed each other and other silly stuff..
When we entered the apartment, I was speechless. It was full of diferent flowers. From roses,orchids to many more beautiful flowers. I thrilled, I thanked him and gave him a kiss.
He took my coat off and slowly started to unzip my dress. He took it off. I slowly took off his shirt and then started to undo his belt. We were only in our underwear. He lifted me and kissed me passionately,l ike never before. We went to the bedroom, and, well, the rest will be kept as a secret.

10.00 a.m.
I slowly turned to hug him. I felt that it's not him, I opened my eyes and saw that I was hugging a pillow. I jumped out of bed and called him
"Harry,Harry,Harry where are you?!" -I shouted in a empty apartment.
He didn't answer. I entered the kitchen and saw a mesage on english taped to the fridge that said:
"Sorry, but I had to leave. Forgive me, it was not my intention but I had to. I really like you and I'm falling for you. I went away from you, not your fault, it's me. Forgive me, I'll call you one day, I promise. Miss you, sorry again. Harry"
Tears start to fill my eyes, I tried to hold them in but I failed. I screamed out the pain.
"How could he do that to me?! Bastard, he just used me and then left. I hate him,I never wanna see him again! Why me,whyy?!"-I screamed.
                                               ***
It's been a year since Harry left ме. Still he didn't call me. He hurt me, he destroyed me. After him, I couldn't be with anyone else. I was afraid that the other guys will do the same to me as he does. I couldn't love anubody like I loved him. A hundred times I cursed the day when I met him in that damned train. I was always wondering why me.

Today I lead a group on a tour in London. It is hard for me because he is from London, but I have to work, I need money. While I was talking with a group of Big Ben and showing them around, I runs into him.
'I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. ' - I said, and helped the man that I hit.
Juice!
'Harry, you're heeerrreee ..?! How?! Why?! '
He escaped,he ran away. He forgot something. It fell down when I hit him. I picked up the picture, it was us, we took pictures when we were on that night. It brought back painful memories. I was holding back,tried not to cry.I just wanted to get to the hotel.One day changed everything . All deeply repressed emotions, carefully guarded, emerged to the surface.
                                                                      ***
Half year passed away since I saw Harry in London. I still feel the pain. I loved him and I think I still do...
I heard the doorbell,opened the door and saw Harry standing in front of me with a bouquet of red roses and teary eyes saying
"I still love you! Sorry,I was wrong." (in serbian)
He spoke serbian better now, he was probably spending some time here even after what happened.
I turned my back to him, a tear falled down my face. He turned me around,f acing him, he wiped my tear off with his shaky hand.
"Don't cry,please,don't cry."
"I have to,you have no idea how much you hurted me. It still hurts, I can't love anyone beacuse I still love you! Bastard!"
"Sorry,I'm really sorry. Forgive me, I will never leave you like that again.I can't forget that night, I can't erase my memories, I can't say -Goodbye- to you when I still haven't said -Hello-,when you still haven't opened my heart. I can't say it's the end, when there was no beginning."-He moved closer to me.
He kissed me with his soft lips and huged me tight like he didn't want to let go. It was hurting me, but I didn't mind, I was used to it. I was feeling so safe in his arms, again. He filled me with hope and confidence. I loved him with all my heart as he loved me.

Harry and I are living together for 3 years in London. We like to even think that love is becoming bigger and stronger for years. We are smarter. We won't make the same mistakes as in the past. We are engaged and we are now planning a wedding. Wedding will be in the train, a little crazy, but if the train wasn't there, the two of us wouldn't even know. Little things do miracles.